Monday, 30 March 2015

Identity and Physical Form

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lodekka/8267196865/
Don't groan but, last week I had a dream.

In this dream I got aroused and my clit grew into a penis. It was kind of uncomfortable because my foreskin was paper-thin and I was worried it would tear if handled too roughly.

It was kinda cool for a bit and I wanted to show someone but I was scared that if I lost the erection it wouldn't happen again. I very gently stroked my erection while trying to figure out how to get over to HugSlut to tell her...

And then I woke up, slightly aroused, no penis, and kinda disappointed, then my sleepy brain continued on thinking what it would be like to have a penis as a woman.

My first thought was that there would be no change because I'm secure in my womanhood and I didn't feel that a penis would change that. I might even grow to like it and see it as a normal part of my life.

Then I thought about having to explain to lovers that I'm definitely a woman but I now have a penis instead, which would be an uncomfortable conversation but I was confidant HugSlut would still love me and the Bard would probably adjust admirably.

Suddenly I realized that boners don't just happen in private. I could be walking down the street and get a random boner, and I'd almost definitely get one at work at some point since I spend so much time there. Humans in general aren't nice to people that don't fit in their tidy little boxes. I thought of having the same conversation over and over with near strangers. (Yes I have a penis. No I am a woman. Why the fuck do you care what's in my pants anyway?)

The blend of terror about that situation and relief that I don't have to live it made me cry. I'm lucky that the body I was born with suits me so well. If you're like me, count your lucky stars and be a bit nicer to others who didn't win the genetic lottery, because you can't pick which bits you're born with.